When I hear the word “pedophile,” I immediately think of an adult man who preys on kids. But it seems like more and more frequently, female pedophiles are joining the ranks.
The latest pending teacher-student sex scandal involves Laura Michelle Gallegos, a 38-year-old teacher’s aide in California who resigned after authorities began investigating possible inappropriate relationships with her students in April.
Allegedly, Gallegos was involved in a physical relationship with one 17-year-old student and was also sexting back and forth with another 15-year-old student. Gallegos was exposed when the 15-year-old’s mother checked his cell phone and noticed a suspicious “GF” in his list of saved contacts.
Cell phones are a necessity for many teens. But with the family phone quickly going the way of the dodo, mom and dad no longer act as the switchboard for incoming calls. That means people like Gallegos can gain easy access to teens, right under the noses of their parents.
Gallegos’s court hearing is set for September 21, 2010.
Jenny Evans is a mother of three and a freelance writer specializing in parenting and family issues.
As the word “sexting” began to gradually make its way into every parent’s vocabulary, we worried that racy images of our kids could get passed on to other kids and embarrass our child. But now a new buzzword – sextortion – is proving how dangerous the practice of sexting really can be.
Sextortion is shorthand for online sexual extortion. When someone posts or sends suggestive photos or video of themselves through an online medium, it can be accessed by Internet-savvy strangers. The strangers can then threaten to make the content public, or show it to their families, unless the individual makes more explicit content and sends it to the blackmailer. Some recent cases of sextortion:
In April, a 24-year-old from Alabama extorted illicit pictures from over 50 young women by harassing them over Facebook and MySpace.
In June, a 31-year-old Californian hacked into 200 private computers looking for nude photos, which he then used to blackmail 44 minors into posing for explicit videos.
In a pending case, a 19-year-old from Maryland is accused of extorting sexual pictures and video from a 17-year-old Indiana teen on at least two occasions after he coaxed her and her friends to “flash” him via webcam in an Internet chat room.
Teens are often so scared that they simply comply with the blackmailer’s requests, hoping it will make the problem go away. Unfortunately, teens often avoid asking parents or other adults for help like the plague – especially if it means they must first confess how the trouble began in the first place.
Chances are that your teenagers, like most kids their age, think they’re invincible. Having the sexting talk is almost more awkward than having the sex talk with your kids, but it’s absolutely necessary that kids understand the possible consequences of sexting.
Jenny Evans is a mother of three and a freelance writer specializing in parenting and family issues.
Alexis Pilkington. Robyn Nixon. Phoebe Prince. These teenagers left their marks on the world by taking their own lives in the wake of relentless cyberbullying.
The response to cyberbullying has been slow and gradual, but many big entities are finally beginning to realize that cyberbullying is a serious problem that is not going to go away on its own.
Topix.com, a community-based news site, recently announced that it would no longer charge a $19.95 fee to expedite the investigation and removal of abusive posts. The change in policy was fueled by concerns about cyberbullies posting abusive comments or false “news” stories designed to humiliate victims.
Facebook also reports that it is working on a new system to automatically delete abusive comments posted by “trolls.” Facebook trolls often set up false accounts and flood individuals or tribute pages set up to honor deceased people with hurtful and inflammatory comments.
Schools, too, are recognizing the threat of cyberbullying and are ramping up their efforts to prevent it. The U.S. Department of Education held their first Summit on Bullying Prevention this week, focusing on how to best give policy guidance to schools and prevent cyberbullying among students. Many schools are already introducing new zero-tolerance policies as the 2010-2011 school year approaches.
It’s an overwhelming relief to know that cyberbullying is being recognized as the monster that it really is. Parents are starting to get some much needed help – from big-name websites, their kids’ schools, and the government – in addressing cyberbullying.
Jenny Evans is a mother of three and a freelance writer specializing in parenting and family issues.
Sexting is quickly becoming a rampant problem in high schools and junior highs. One in five teens have sent a nude or semi-nude picture of themselves to someone else’s cell phone, and one in four have seen a nude or semi-nude picture intended for someone else.
In this climate where racy self-portraits of our kids are being circulated around the school or Internet, many parents are up in arms but don’t know what to do. It’s certainly alarming, but is it illegal? Should it be?
As states struggle to apply the law in light of the new sexting craze among minors, teens are being charged with child pornography for sexting. Child pornography is a felony, and kids who are convicted will have to register as sex offenders for the next 10 years or beyond.
Many legislators feel that it’s misguided to apply legislation intended to protect kids from adult predators to sexting between minors, and are considering special sexting legislation to address a problem that didn’t exist a decade ago.
Sixteen states in the U.S. have passed or introduced legislation that relegates sexting cases to juvenile court, or downgrades the punishment to a misdemeanor rather than a felony. Others only punish individuals involved in disseminating the pictures.
Legal consequences aside, sexting is a risky practice. Once a picture leaves your child’s phone it’s officially out of their control, but teens often don’t think past the here-and-now. As a parent, you can help them to acquire the big-picture perspective necessary to make good judgments, helping them to realize the possible consequences of sexting a few days, weeks, or months down the road.
Would your teen start to get the shakes after 15 minutes if you took away the computer and all their Bluetooth-enabled devices? If so, it may be time to worry about their online usage’s impact on their mental health.
A study published on Monday by the Archives of Pediatric & Adolescent Medicine suggests that teenagers who are pathologic Internet users are twice as likely to develop clinical depression.
The study involved self-reporting from 1,100 high schoolers in China on their Internet usage and prevalence of depression symptoms. Emotionally healthy teens were more likely to report symptoms of depression 9 months later if they were also addicted to the Internet.
To compound the problem, the university researchers behind the study reported that Internet addiction also leads to increased aggressive behavior, relationship problems, and even physical health problems.
The findings of the study remained constant among kids with different economic statuses, ages, and genders – although teen boys were more likely than girls to report use in the first place.
Remember that this study only proves that Internet addiction and depression are likely to occur together, not which one caused the other. Maybe Internet addiction causes depression, or perhaps teens developing depression are more likely to turn to the Internet in an effort to self-medicate.
Either way, it’s time to talk if your teen exhibits signs of Internet addiction like:
♦ Isolating self from real-life family and friends
♦ Withdrawing from offline interests
♦ Hiding or lying about Internet use
♦ Online time interferes with homework or sleep
♦ Eating meals or doing other activities in front of the computer
♦ Developing carpal tunnel syndrome
♦ Gaining or losing weight
♦ Complaining of frequent backaches or headaches
♦ Having trouble focusing on offline tasks
♦ Appearing anxious, moody, or restless, especially when offline
When Internet use turns into addiction, it interferes with your child’s life and therefore becomes a problem. It may also mean that there is something more going on than meets the eye. Addictive online behavior is your cue as a parent to talk to your teen.
I’m pleased to announce that MySpace has now been added to KidSafe. This new feature enables you to better educate, engage with and protect your child when they use the popular website. Unlike parental control software that is installed on a specific computer, KidSafe runs across the Internet itself. This approach addresses the reality that our children are increasingly social and mobile.
Who is “friending” your child on MySpace ?
Who is talking to your child the most on MySpace?
When is your child accessing MySpace?
KidSafe’s MySpace roll-out will help you answer these questions and more. In fact, if our advanced parental intelligence system identifies risky conversations or people interacting with your child on MySpace, you will be notified based on settings you define.
To add your child’s MySpace account to their profile, simply log into your KidSafe account and access their profile through your Settings. An easy-to-follow set up wizard will guide you through the process. If you have not already created your KidSafe account, sign up now. KidSafe makes it easy for you to educate, engage with and protect your child as they use MySpace and other social networking site.
Facebook seems to have more of an interest these days in keeping its users, particularly children and teens, safe from social networking dangers such as cyberbullying and child predators.
In April a revamped Safety Center appeared on Facebook, with targeted safety information for parents, educators, teens, and law enforcement.
After the Facebook-related deaths of 17-year-old Ashleigh Hall in March and 18-year-old Nona Belomisoff in May, parents breathed a collective sigh of relief last week (albeit a cautious one) when Facebook’s chief security officer Joel Sullivan announced that a new Safety Page on the site will “regularly post dynamic content to complement the resources in the expanded Safety Center.”
Facebook’s Safety Page includes short videos and links about digital citizenship, bullying, and other topics related to internet safety. Information is given in small, easy-to-digest doses and is promised to continue evolving, making the Safety Page a must-bookmark site if you or your children are using social networking sites.
I think it’s great that Facebook is taking measures to support parents in teaching and protecting their kids in a digital and sometimes dangerous world. Facebook is making it easier for us parents to access Internet safety information, but remember that they cannot send Joel Sullivan to every one of our houses to help our kids process it. We need to be the ones to start the conversation with our children, tweens, and teens.
Melinda Dennehy, a former Londonberry High School teacher, pleaded guilty to emailing nude photographs of herself to a 15-year-old male student. Dennehy, 41, of Hampstead, New Hampshire pleaded guilty to misdemeanor indecent exposure.
In March of this year nude photos of Melinda Dennehy, then a sophomore English teacher, were passed around the high school. Dennehy resigned just three weeks after the photos surfaced. Police later determined that Dennehy sent four photos to the 15-year-old male student with her genitals exposed.
The student confirmed to police that Dennehy texted him with descriptions of specific sexual acts she wanted to perform with him. According to the student, the teacher continuously sent him text messages” and kissed him on school grounds on at least two separate occasions.
Dennehy was issued a one year suspended sentence as long as she remains on good behavior, stays away from the high school and has no contact with the child.
Whether we’re talking about text lingo, friending people online or the pictures our kids post online, the best tool to minimize risky behavior online is our active involvement. Most children, teens included, say that their parents are the strongest influence over the decisions they make.
But even kids that have active parents make mistakes and sometimes we have to protect our kids from other people. Therefore it is important that you are at least familiar with some of the text lingo terms that would indicate your child could be headed for trouble. Here is a small sample:
We regularly hear from parents that said they simply couldn’t remember the thousands of text lingo terms currently being used by kids. KidSafe automatically translates text lingo into a language parents can understand and then our advance parental intelligence system will notify you if inappropriate, dangerous or suspicious behaviors or people are identified in your child’s digital world. We would love your feedback on the service so take a moment to create an account and tell us what you think.
Tim Woda is a passionate advocate for protecting children from today’s scariest digital dangers – cyberbullying, sexting and predators. He co-founded KidSafe, is the author of Keeping Kids Safe: A Guide for Parents of Social and Mobile Children and is a frequent public speaker on the topic.
Are you concerned that your child’s thumbs might fall off as a result of sending too many text messages? Well join the club. If your home is anything like mine than you’re seeing the number of text messages being sent and received by your child head steadily upwards. The average American teen now sends or receives one text message every nine minutes!
Text messaging is no longer just another way to connect with one another; it has become a cultural phenomenon. Parodies on television of teens and tweens texting to one another while in the same room are funny because we can all imagine our own children doing the same thing. We’re asked to text in our vote to American Idol. Barak Obama won the White House, in part, because of his team’s ability to engage young voters via text messaging. The Pew Internet & American Life Project recently confirmed what every parent with a teenager already knows – texting has become the preferred channel of basic communication between teens and tweens and their friends.
Text messaging, officially called Short Message Service (SMS), has grown in popularity with teens for three primary reasons:
Texting is a more efficient and a faster way to communicate than a voice phone call,
The cost of messaging plans has steadily declined,
Sending a text message is similar to passing a note in class – it is a discreet method of communicating with friends.
For parents and educators, it is this last statement that represents a challenge. Let’s start with the obvious. Why did we pass notes in class when we were kids? If we’re being honest with ourselves than we can acknowledge that we were communicating something that we either didn’t want others to hear or we shouldn’t have been communicating at that particular moment at all. Passing notes in class was our attempt at convert communications.
Text messaging has many benefits, it is here to stay and most text messages our children send or receive represent perfecting acceptable content. I have nothing against text messaging. That said, this chart illustrates, a staggering percentage of our children admit to using text messaging inappropriately.
Perhaps even more alarming is what Local, State and Federal law enforcement is seeing as a skyrocketing trend. Child predators are now increasingly using text messaging to communicate directly with our children often right under our noses. Predators are always going to go where the children are and the preferred method of communication by kids is text messaging.
Risks and threats to our kids’ well-being have been a part of life since the beginning of time. But it is important for us to accept a very simple truth – texting messaging and kids can be a risky combination without active parental involvement.
Introduction to Text Lingo
While the smart phones are capable of sending long text messages, less advanced mobile phones can only accommodate messages of 160 characters. This limitation naturally led users to try to use the fewest number of characters possible to convey a comprehensible message.
To cut the character count of a text message, users often use abbreviations and ignore punctuation and traditional grammar. For words which have no common abbreviation, users commonly remove the vowels from a word, or use pictures or a single letter or number to represent whole words. Eventually entire phrases were reduced to acronyms. Today, text lingo (also known as SMS language, Textese, chatspeak, chat lingo or net lingo) is a commonly used and well understood language by most teens and, to a lesser degree, technology-savvy adults.
Most of us are familiar with the regular, more harmless codes like LOL (laughing out loud) and ttyl (talk to you later) and a few others here and there. But as I said, text lingo is an entire language and most parents don’t speak text lingo fluently. This opens the door to much risk but understanding the risk is the first step in managing it. Allow me to share a sample conversion with you:
Surprised? Stunned? As this conversation illustrates, text lingo is not only more efficient than writing out entire messages, it also makes it possible for some pretty troublesome conversations to take place right under our nose. Kids and child predators alike are able to engage in conversations that few parents would be able to understand. Text lingo has become so mainstream with kids that it is now used in email, on social networking websites and when chatting with instant messaging services like AIM® and Yahoo Messanger®.
Talking to Kids in a Language We All Understand
Whether we’re talking about text lingo, the traditional written word or picture our kids put online, the best tool at your disposal to decrease risky behavior is your active involvement. The earlier we start talking to our children about the decisions they make online and with their mobile phone the better. Our children need to understand what our expectations are and what we consider “out of bounds”. Most children, teens included, say that their parents are the strongest influencers over the decisions they make. Just because we don’t speak in text lingo doesn’t mean that we cannot talk to our child about using the language appropriately.
Text messaging and text lingo are going to be a part of our kids’ life long into the future just like social networking, having a bank account, using a credit card, driving a car, etc. With consistent guidance on text messaging and text lingo from mom and dad, you have every reason to expect that mistakes will be less frequent and less severe.
Tim Woda is a passionate advocate for protecting children from today’s scariest digital dangers – cyberbullying, sexting and predators. He co-founded KidSafe, is the author of Keeping Kids Safe: A Guide for Parents of Social and Mobile Children and is a frequent public speaker on topics related to technology and child safety.
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I’m pleased to announce that MySpace has now been added to KidSafe. This new feature enables you to better educate, engage with and protect your child when they use the popular website. Unlike parental control software that is installed on a specific computer, KidSafe runs across the Internet itself. This approach addresses the reality that our children are increasingly social and mobile.
